1. From my group I got some really great feedback about my paper, especially concerning the organization. From Lynnsey I got suggestions on how I can split up huge page-spanning paragraphs into smaller, more manageable ones. She also asked me to more clearly define the term "professional development"; I use that term very often in Step #2 and she felt that I needed to expand on what I meant by using that term. Finally, she pointed out that I needed to add a conclusion that included my interview (primary research) and my reactions to the research. Josh agreed with Lynnsey about breaking up the big paragraphs and he also suggested that I needed to clarify my reference to "the question" when I'm talking about my inquiry question. Specifically he said that I need to state my thesis clearly rather than referring to it indirectly. He also mentioned several places where I included information, but failed to relate it clearly back to the thesis. Joey suggested that I make all the letters M in Mathematics lower case because he didn't think they needed to be capitalized. He also reminded me that I needed a conclusion where I included my interview and my reactions, and he suggested that I add in some more information about North Carolina's plan for the future of Common Core Mathematics professional development.
2. Probably the most helpful advice I received were the suggestions I received regarding the organization of my paper. I have a terrible time separating thoughts into paragraphs, preferring instead to continue the paragraph and include all relevant points. My group really helped me see places where I needed to break up thoughts into separate paragraphs; in fact, each member marked the places in almost exactly the same spots. Clearly, they're all better at seeing the breaks than I am, making this process tedious, yet very worthwhile!
3. The suggestion I got to decapitalize the M in Mathematics was probably the least helpful advice I received, though I would like to point out that it was given with the best of intentions. Thanks, Joey. Believe me, I totally get what you mean about it seeming unnecessary. I only did it that way for one reason. On the Annotated Bibliography, Megan clarified this for me in her comments--I need to capitalize the M and do it throughout my paper to keep it consistent with my source materials.
4. My plans for revision are as follows:
Step 1: break up the big paragraphs where my group marked them to isolate thoughts, but make sure to relate them back to the thesis.
Step 2: Clearly state my thesis/inquiry question in the introduction
Step 3: Define "professional development" in the context of my inquiry
Step 4: At the places Josh marked, relate information/quote back to thesis to answer "what's the point of this info?"
Step 5: Add a strong conclusion including my primary research, my reactions to the research, and summarize the plans for the future of Common Core Mathematics Standards for NC middle grades.
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