Since I missed class and the workshopping therein due to my own personal problems, I had to think of ways to still respect the process of workshopping without the benefit of my inquiry group. I didn't want to rely on my group to comment on my inquiry because that would've been ridiculous; its a holiday weekend and most people are home with their families enjoying vaguely bunny and/or egg shaped candy while trying to do enough laundry at home to get them through that last month of classes. No one's gonna comment on a late post of mine unless they're getting over that sugar high or waiting to listen for when the dryer stops because its late and people are trying to watch the Duke-Louisville game for Pete's sake! Anyway, I needed someone to read the hastily typed first draft of the Annotated Bibliography and Mom seemed like the right choice--she knows how I write (or don't write!), she was available on short notice, and her brackets were already thrown out because of the Florida Gulf Coast mess.
So I got Mom to help me by workshopping my AnnBib and, as always, she came through for me after a fashion as soon as I explained the assingnment and my inquiry question in detail. Here's my attempt at a Reflection of the Workshop done while the rest of the family screamed at the TV. Please note that I workshopped with her before I got around to posting the first draft to the blog. No Internet at the 'rents house, but more channels than anyone could ever surf through. Go fig.
1.) My mom, the only member of my workshopping group, had a lot to say about the analysis paragraphs, mostly that I needed to improve it for each of the three sources. She pointed out on the first source that I didn't really address the credibility of my source though I did for the other two. She also said I tended to make the analysis sound like my opinion, so I needed to revise that and simply talk about what the authors are saying, not how what they're saying is helps my case. Translation: stick to formal 3rd person. My mom also said I needed to look over some of the longer sentences "because you know how you get wordy and no one understands it but you". Translation: run-ons again. The bane of my writing existence.
2.) I thought the most helpful advice Mom gave me was regarding the need to revamp the analysis paragraphs for each source. She is right (aren't Moms ALWAYS?). I realize after reading it again that I totally made it into my own argument in several places. So I'll need to go back and revise it to be more objective in presenting the authors' arguments as more theirs and less of my own. I think for the most part I stuck to using 3rd person, but I am really pushing th envelope in places and I need to play around with it to make it seem more detached.
3.) Probably the least helpful advice I received was in regards to spelling and syntax. Mom's a grammar stickler and she pointed out some places where I needed to fix things, but that's not where I really needed the most help. These things are easily fixed, so I'll work on it in the second draft; though, if she'd read the article on "Responding, Really Responding...", she probably would've cut me a little more slack and focused on the content. Like I said before, I had few options and I really wanted to attempt to workshop the paper and respect what Megan's doing in our class. Beggars can't be choosers, I guess. Thanks anyway, Mom.
4.) My plans for revision involve working to revise the analysis paragraphs for each of my sources to be more detached and seem less opinionated. I'm still not sure how I'm going to do that, but I'm working on it for the final two sources as well so maybe I'll have a system by the time I finish the second draft. I will also correct several places Mom mentioned where I gave a vague reference or used an ambiguously common term like "standards". Finally, I will attempt to correct any run-on sentences I notice so that the paper is clearer and seems less "wordy". I really thought I was getting better at detecting these while I was writing! :-/
If anyone in my inquiry group has any additional comments to make regarding my Annotated Bibliography, please let me know in the Comments. I plan on revising the second draft for Megan's comments before April 15. This assignment was the most difficult for me to date, if you can believe it.
After reading your answer to number 1, it made me actually rethink my analysis of each argument of the authors because I believe it's so easy to throw in your own opinions while trying to explain someone else's opinion. I probably needed to slow down and realize that part of the paper was describing only the author's point, not my own. This shows that even other people's mistakes can help you realize your own, especially in writing!
ReplyDeleteI commend you on seeking out help from your mom to fill the void of the inquiry group. I agree with your number one. We both have a tendency to put our own opinions into work where it is not asked for. I have to go back through mine and figure out hw to word it to only use the authors opinion.
ReplyDeleteThis was very intuitive of you. I give you much respect for still getting the job done! Your mom was probably right about the opinion problem. Many people in my group had the same issue, which we tried to fix.
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